Dennis M.
Thanks for an encouraging and surprisingly nutrient course. – Dennis M.
J.A.
I just wanted to say thank you for everything you did for me. It’s kind of hard to believe that it was honestly just a year ago that I was seeing you regularly, working through so many aspects of my grief. I was at a period where I mostly just sat around watching TV and feeling sorry for myself, thinking that everything was hopeless and having random crying fits. Those were so incredibly difficult, and I am not going to lie, it felt utterly terrible to be so low and have no idea how to get out of it.
Thank you so much for helping me through that time. You were with me when things started to pick up, one by one, little by little. I was so excited to share the positive events with you and you helped me cling to the hope they heralded, even when I was still depressed and hardly able to see any of the good in my life. I wanted you to know that I have been working towards and making progress with some of the very goals I talked about with you. Thank you! — J.A.
D.S.
Anne’s ability to create safety and model vulnerability has made the “Grief to Relief” class a healing experience for me. With Anne’s help and the support of the group, I am releasing grief from the past and proving one of the myths…” Time doesn’t heal all wounds.” — D.S.
Elizabeth M.
I had struggled for most of my life with longing for my mother who died when I was 13. Therapy helped with healing, as did life coaching, but the aching and longing and sense of the whole process still being unfinished still lingered. It was not until I did grief recovery with Anne that it shifted. A couple of months ago, after I completed the process, I realized I simply feel calmer. The aching and longing are gone, and the process feels complete. I still miss Mama sometimes and certainly think of her, but the pain has subsided. I am so grateful to Anne and the grief recovery process for helping me heal. — Elizabeth M.
B.D.
Words are truly insufficient in expressing your positive impact on my life. — B.D.
Stephanie B.
Doing grief recovery with Anne has helped me develop stronger boundaries all the way around. Because I have stronger boundaries, I don’t find myself feeling guilty as often and feeling as burnt out. I’ve found it easier to ask for what I need or want. It has changed me for the better as a person and as a result also as a professional. The less baggage I carry personally, the better I am. It has been life altering in every way. — Stephanie B.
Grief & Miscarriage
I highly recommend working with Anne Keeton. In June of 2009, I found out that I was pregnant. My husband and I were nervous but so excited. We went to the first ultrasound in July, and everything was great. At 11 weeks, we announced the pregnancy to family and friends. A few days later, we returned to the doctor for our second ultrasound and were so excited to see how the baby was growing. It was at that ultrasound where we received the terrible news that I had experienced a “missed” miscarriage, where the baby’s heart stopped beating for some unknown reason a few weeks before, but there was no bleeding to alert me to the miscarriage. I went into that appointment full of excitement and left in tears. I had to have a D&C a few days later, and I was devastated. However, I had a hard time connecting with my feelings about the miscarriage and about the baby. I felt very sad but knew intellectually that the chances of miscarriage were great at my age (38), and that one miscarriage didn’t necessarily suggest a problem for future pregnancies. I think I was so intent on “keeping my chin up” that I refused to acknowledge the loss as a loss of a baby. Additionally, my husband was sympathetic but seemed to be able to get past the miscarriage more easily than I could. For instance, he seemed able to conceptualize going back to being a happy, childless couple. I couldn’t go back in my mind.
A few months after the miscarriage, I was still having problems emotionally, and I agreed to a coaching session with Anne. During that session, Anne walked me through various scenarios and imagery in order to help me connect with my grief. I was shocked at how much I connected with that grief. I sobbed and sobbed during the session. Through the work with Anne, I was able to come to grips with the enormity of the miscarriage in my life. Before I got pregnant, I was on the fence about being a mother, but I was able to realize through the session that I became a mother as soon as I became pregnant. As such, the idea of not being a mother anymore was devastating for me. Anne helped me realize that I continued to be a mother, in spite of the miscarriage. Connecting to that grief and sense of loss enabled me to move on. It also helped me understand my continued pain and grief, and to be gentle with myself, when it took me a good while to get pregnant again. (Which I finally did – my husband and I now have a 6-month-old daughter whom we absolutely adore!) Anne was amazing at helping me get to the feelings that I was hiding even from myself. I highly recommend her services and would be happy to speak with anyone who is considering hiring her to help with coaching surrounding pregnancy loss and/or infertility. — Katy P.
Patrik C.
It’s not a question of if you have baggage, because we all do in one form or another. The real question is, do you let it bury you, or do you stand above it? Having done the Grief Recovery Method, I would recommend it for everyone, yes everyone, even the ones who think everything is just “fine.” You’ll be happy you did. — Patrik C.
Nancy J.
First, let me thank you for all your help working with my son through this tragic event. He is doing wonderfully, and I can see progress every week. I’ve worked hard and had spent a fortune trying to unravel the medical solutions and get him the help that will make the most impact in his life. You were the perfect choice, and I am so grateful that we met. — Nancy J.
Margaret P.
I so very much appreciate my three months of grief therapy with you. You met my needs perfectly and I can tell everyone that your combination of sincere empathy and positive energy are a winning combination. You guide gently and skillfully and make the process so very much more bearable than I could ever have believed. Margaret P.
Vicki C.
After working with Anne, my 2.5-year-old granddaughter said, “Mimi, you’re happy. I love it when you’re happy!” Thank you for your part in my outlook on my life. Love you – Vicki C.
Mom
Tuesday, I took my older son to lunch for his birthday, after not seeing him in several months. He kept saying, “Mom, you look so good.” Then I had a chance to tell him about Grief to Relief.
Lisa
I am a Christian. I thought that if I prayed hard enough and went to church and Sunday school, I could avoid bad things happening to me. So when they did, I thought God had abandoned me. What I didn’t realize was He was trying to get my attention. I survived a long list of major life losses by the time I was 40. It wasn’t until after a failed suicide attempt, that I was forced into therapy for years to try to fix my life. It didn’t. Then Anne came into my life and I, and I found God again (though Grief to Relief is not religious). It was all part of His plan to bring us together. I needed her to show me how to resolve all my feelings of grief by going back to the beginning…something no therapist had ever done. It works! Now I’m completely recovered, I have the tools I need to face the future loss events, and I am closer to God than I’ve ever been in my life. I owe it all to Anne! She’s a true lifesaver!
-Lisa
D.G.
Anne,
I have had a wide variety of things occur in my life that fall under the umbrella of loss:
· Death of family, friends and pets
· Changing jobs
· Changing addresses
· Divorce
· End of long time relationships/friendships
· Health issues that limit diet and physical activities
· Graduations
I thought I handled each loss well, some better than others but all with the “this event isn’t going to stop me” attitude.
I recently began looking at my present life and I wasn’t happy. I realized loss was having an accumulative effect on my life, each loss building on the next and slowly eroding the joyful life I had before the first death.
I found myself going through my daily life in an odd state – not depressed, not sad, but not happy or joyful – I was neutral about my life and about everything around me. I rarely went places and when I did, I didn’t really participate other than simply showing up. And I couldn’t get out of my own way.
I attended a Grief Recovery workshop with two wonderful people who never judged and listened intently. They also reminded me I needed to bring joy and laughter back into my life.
After class ended, I continued to use the tools we learned and have applied them to other relationships including my relationship with myself. Each time I feel a release, and peace washes over me. I am already seeing a shift in my life where I am lighter and I am looking for things that bring me joy. I am no longer happy with waiting for life to happen, the loss is gone and will never come back. Today I am making the decision to life my life.
-D.G.
Anon
Grief Recovery is not about forgetting, it’s about healing and giving you the option of living the precious life you have been given to the fullest.
-Anon
K.B.
Anne,
As you may recall I came to your class within days of losing my brother. I came each week with my homework complete and approached the class in an academic way, almost without emotion. It came as a complete shock to me in the last couple weeks of class how I was unable to stem the tears. The release was a result of a combination of doing the work as assigned, showing up each week prepared and sharing with the group. That last component was critical to me. I’ve always known in my head and in my solitude what I expressed to the group. The act of expressing it without interruption and without expressions of sympathy or suggestions of how I was supposed to feel rather than the fact of how I truly felt was the key to unlocking the vault that was the keeper of my grief.
I’ve looked back at the losses I’ve experienced (father, mother, brother, extended family, several friends, numerous serious injuries, relationships). Until I took your class I used to say I have never properly grieved any of them because i never truly opened up and expressed all the emotions buried deeply in my soul. What I learned, and am practicing, is the reality I have been grieving for many years now; however, I had been unable to move beyond the grief and start to live at my full potential. I seemed to be anticipating new losses around every corner and as each day dawned. The grief stacked up and piled on; pushed down like a SEVEN LAYER MEXICAN DIP!
This is so contrary to who I truly am and how I’m perceived. My personality is such that most who know me believe I am in a really good place because I generally have a smile on my face. I laugh. I play. I go out and have a good time. I’ve been told on more than one occasion I have a glow about me. That may be true, yet inside that glow was dimming. And it had become almost debilitating keeping the lights on. In the quiet hours at night, or when I was home alone, I would feel anxious and scared. I had an almost unreasonable fear of going to sleep, petrified of what would happen the next day.
I marched along. My steps, however, were like trudging in quicksand. By nature I’m quite optimistic and feel I can overcome obstacles. Unfortunately, I allowed my fear of loss to keep me from pursuing anything grand, only focused on crisis management.
I’m now facing my losses and systematically pursuing recovery from my grief. I am now ready to pursue life beyond just tomorrow. I KNOW I will have more losses in my life. Now I have the tools in my toolbox to tackle the inevitable grief that will accompany.
Since graduating from your class I’ve found myself able to let go of long held resentments I’ve had with certain people. I remind myself quite often that yesterday is gone. I cannot revisit it and change the past. I CAN take responsibility for my reactions and how I processed the resentments. I CAN learn from that and make today, tomorrow and beyond count. I have been formulating a plan for my future because I now believe I have a future. I now believe I’m worthy of finding sustainable love rather than love that is temporary and full of additional pain and grief.
I’m quite new to this recovery method; I have no doubt as time goes on and as I continue to practice the rules I will discover even greater improvements and joys.
I hope others who are experiencing grief can be “set free” as I have been. Who knows if it was divine that your class began within days of my brother’s passing or even if my friendship with Nichole and her connection with you is the divine element? What I do know is taking your class was my lifeline.
you have been a real blessing in my life 🙂
-K.B.
H.K.
Anne, I do not have the words to express to you how much you have helped me, and could never do enough for you to pay something so indescribable back. There is no question in my mind but that God brought us together, and it is such a blessing for me.
Love,
H.K.
E.J.
Anne,
For years I had carried around and had been crippled by my anger towards my father for the times in my childhood when he had disregarded my feelings and had hurt me deeply. Through therapy I was somewhat about deal with my anger, but it was still there. Mostly I could ignore it, but at times I would have to face into this pain.
Grief Recovery provided a process to get COMPLETELY free from the anger I had for my father. I cry with happiness just thinking about being able to talk about my dad without the crippling feelings of pain and anger shadowing my stories about him. Thoughts of how I didn’t measure up to his expectations no longer come creeping in. My father was a wonderful person and father in many ways; he made mistakes and deeply hurt me – but I have been set free! I can freely love him without inner conflict.
-E.J
S.K.
Incomplete loss permeates every facet of your life. At times, it’s clear how the loss affects the ability for you to deal with challenges, and you understand the loss to be a weak link in a linear chain of events. If you fix the link, the chain will become stronger. It’s not until you start working on completing the loss that you realize that it’s more like a crack in the foundation of your being. The weakness is debilitating and far-reaching. Grief recovery, in giving you the tools to complete your loss, allows you to strengthen your foundation and live life truly and simply. It’s more than a healing, it’s a realization.
Once I shed weight of sadness, guilt and painful memories, I felt a lightness of being. The mental clarity that has stayed with me, has allowed me to live my most present, authentic life. I am the best version of myself.
While I am a strong advocate of the Grief Recovery program, I am an even bigger cheerleader for Anne Keeton. She is genuine, compassionate, completely non-judgmental and incredibly easy to talk to. She makes a difficult process easier, and becomes invested in your healing, well-being, and your independence. She is there to hold your hand, to stand next to you, to stand behind you, and in the end, to cheer her heart out for you. She was made to do this, and I feel fortunate to have been guided on my journey by her.
I love you, Annie. Thank you for helping me become better: a better mother, a better wife, a better daughter, a better sister, a better friend, and a better self. I deserve this. We all do.
-S.K.
S.E.
Anne,
Recovery from grief is like finding more hours in the day. Time spent focusing on personal sadness and loss is time you can be doing something else like helping others or doing something fun for yourself. Is that selfish? Not at all. Since your thoughts create your experiences, letting go of sad and hurtful thoughts will get rid of negative experiences. What if the apostles were crippled with grief after the death of Jesus? He would have been very disappointed in them.
-S.E.
Howard
Anne,
This sums up Grief Recovery to me:
Meditations of the Heart
I share with you the agony of your grief,
The anguish of your heart finds echo in my own.
I know I cannot enter all you feel
Nor bear with you the burden of your pain.
I can but offer what my love does give,
The strength of caring,
The warmth of one who seeks to understand
The silent storm-swept barrenness of so great a loss.
This I do in quiet ways,
That on your lonely path
You may not walk alone.
~ Howard Thurman
E.B.
I certainly know that doing the grief work has cleared the way in my heart and mind to see more of what relationships I need and don’t need in my life! I finally don’t feel desperate to find the right man or even to have a man in my life…maybe for the first time ever. I feel much more relaxed about when or if that will even happen. Not to say I might not like to think that it will… if it’s meant to be. In the meantime, I’m enjoying my life and freedom, one day at a time.
Take care,
-E.B.
L.C.
You are doing a wonderful job, Anne, with this program. By sharing your experiences so openly, you encourage us to reveal very private things about our own lives. Thank you for that because it does take courage. I’m usually a very private person, so this has been a big step for me, and one that I wasn’t sure I’d be able to take. Thank you again.
-L.C.
K.G.
My coach, Anne Keeton, is one-half guide, one-half escort, one-half prompter, one-half inspirer. Yes, I know that makes two of her, but she is that good. I have moved on through the barriers, over the thresholds, from a life in which I felt trapped (of my own doing—in fact, trapped because of my own doing), confined, stuck, to a way of living that is in a simple, poignant, profound word—free. I am now, for the first time in many, many years in control of me.
Thanks, Anne. You are the bomb.
-K.G.
Grief to Relief and Parenting:
Grief to Relief made me very aware of how I address the issue of “loss” with my children. Like most parents, I want the absolute best for my kids, and the class showed me that how I am currently dealing with loss and how I am teaching my kids to deal with grief is definitely not “the best.” Like most people, I have been conditioned through my own upbringing and societal norms to “put on a brave front” or be dismissive when faced with grief-my own or others. The Grief to Relief class shined a light on how damaging that approach can be.
Learning to gloss over, discount or just not deal with very real, legitimate emotions prevents us from processing our grief in a timely manner which means we carry that grief around for potentially the rest of our lives; definitely not a pattern any parents would want to pass on to their kids.
With Grief to Relief, I learned better verbiage to acknowledge whatever emotions my children are experiencing as well as learning how to teach them to “self-treat” their own grief which is a skill that can reap significant rewards as they grow to adulthood.
-M.R.
Grief to Relief and Faith:
As a committed Christian, I look at everything in my life through the lens of how it meshes with my faith. The Grief to Relief class does an excellent job of honoring a spiritual foundation while providing a framework for dealing with grief that transcends any specific religious doctrine. The coursework asks the participant to address the emotional residue of loss which leaves the door open for each participant to apply his/her own faith background to the teachings as it makes sense.
-M.R.
Grief to Relief and Professional Life
Dear Anne,
It has been ten months since I completed workshop; although the material helped me work through the grief associated with my divorce and issues with my family members, it has been more of a help as a seminarian.
I listen at a deeper, more intentional way after completing this course. I find myself paying more attention to a person’s body language and subtle verbal cues more than I did before. Certain
“catch phrases” get my immediate attention like, “Well it’s hard, but no pain…no gain.” I learned grief comes in all shapes and sizes and does not have to only be a life-altering traumatic experience to create pain and havoc in a person’s life.
When I am talking with a person about an obvious grief issue, I no longer feel like I have to have the “magic” response that is going to relieve his pain. I have found relieving myself of that burden has
provided me the freedom to listen and make a spiritual connection with this person on a much deeper level.
The way the workshop is structured, I gained practice each week at being the “griever” as well as the “listener.” Because of this dualistic approach, I have strengthened both my ability to identify and verbalize my own moments of grief, and listen and identify moments of potential grief in another person.
I use my experience of entering seminary as an example. I waited a long time to respond to God’s call in my life and was very excited to finally be heading off to seminary. At the same time, I was also torn by leaving a successful career and more importantly leaving my daughters and grandson behind in Atlanta. My initial reaction was to bury the grief and only focus on the gratitude for the journey that lie ahead, but because of my new skill set, I realized I was indeed happy AND sad (grieving) simultaneously.
Once I made this realization and took the proper steps to resolve the grief my transition to seminary and the way I was able to help my daughters was much healthier for all.
On a side note, I am heading to Naples, Florida in June to complete my Clinical Pastoral Education and feel better prepared for this experience because of this workshop. Secondly, I can see this workshop will be a valuable tool both in my comfort level as a minister, and with my ability to take care of myself.
Take care, my friend,
Nancee Cekuta, Episcopal Seminarian
Regarding the Death of Parents More Than 30 Years Ago
I feel like I’ve lost weight and gained muscle. I went to Kroger yesterday and came out to the pouring rain. Instead of running with my cart, I just walked, splashed in the water with my flip flops. I was smiling ear to ear. Then today at swim team practice, I felt so comfortable in my skin. It’s hard to put it in words. But my body feels stronger and less achy (back, knee, neck, etc.). Just FREE of pain – physical and emotional. I’m super cautious, though. But like you said, I did something REALLY different this year, which means SOMETHING will change